Weekly motivation - week 17 - Perspective

Perspective is everything. 

I have learned that people can look at exactly the same thing and see something totally different. 

The pessimist complains about the wind

The optimist expects it to change

The realist adjusts the sails - William A Ward

The wind is unchanged in all three views but the perspective in each changes. Sometimes, you need to look at life from another perspective in order to get through the day/week/month/hard time.

If you don't like the way something looks, change the way you look at it! Don't like your calves? Be thankful that you don't have cankles. Not so keen on the whiteness of your teeth? Do something about it - book in to have them professionally whitened. 

I like the words of Aaron Rose at this point:

"In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary"

So, if a simple adjustment in your perspective can change a life, what change can you make to turn your world around?

The imperfection of human relationships

No relationship is perfect. No amount of money or time can ensure a relationship is always sunshine and roses. Every union has issues from time to time. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here, I am taking family and friends of all types.

So, what makes a relationship last? What attributes ensure a relationship stands the test of time?

Maybe it is different for everyone. Maybe each union has a unique formula required to ensure its success.

A foundation stone for me is respect. To me, respect is the basis for any successful relationship.

Fun is important too. Life's serious enough with work and bills and all that adult stuff. So, for me, it is important to play together. To find light in a situation. To seek out the positive side. To laugh and ignite a sense of adventure.

Shared core values are especially important for a romantic relationship. In fact, anyone that you spend a great deal of time with should, in my opinion, share your values for how people are treated and what's important in life. Periphery differences are manageable but I believe you have to hold the same core values to ensure longevity. For me it is family, honesty, hard work and trust.

People, experts no less, say that communication is a cornerstone for a successful relationship but I'm not sold. While, I think effective communication is important, I think it is a result of respect and shared core values rather than a key in and of itself. Perhaps I am skewed in my representation on this point as I tend to over communicate (and overthink). By over communicating I complicate things and my overactive mind creates problems that don't exist. By thinking them and voicing them, they become a self fulfilling prophecy.

I do believe, however, that if two people both want the relationship to work (and they respect each other, have a little fun and share the same core values) then there's no chance of them falling apart. Perhaps I am an eternal optimist. Perhaps I am naive. Perhaps... Or, perhaps, people let life get in the way of their relationships. Perhaps the real reason relationships fail is because we take them for granted. We stop saying thank you. We stop dating. We stop making time to truly listen to the other person when they speak. We forget to have adventures. We no longer grow together.  I think those are the times when relationships fail.

Detox - Day 2.5

Half way through the second day and I feel like shite. My head is pounding, I am cold and feeling downright miserable. Not cranky or moody, like I expected, but flat. Demotivated (which is not at all like me usually). I feel like crawling into bed with the doona pulled high and closing my eyes. Not that I am sleepy, per se but that I just don't want to. Apathy has taken hold. I don't want to. Whatever it is, I don't want to.

I am determined to stick it out as I am already half way there but, right this second, I am questioning the choices I make in my life. What kind of crazy woman voluntarily embarks on a quest to not eat solids for three days. I think it would be okay if I was looking forward to some soup at lunch time. Something warm and comforting. But the thought of drinking more liquefied vegetables is so unappealing. I would honestly rather have nothing

Detox - day two

I have woken up with a monster headache. I probably didn't drink enough water to support the detoxification process yesterday so need to make a renewed effort on that front today.

I am tired too. I feel like I am walking through molasses. Reduced calorie intake will do that.

I am also covered in juice 1. The bag I was carrying my "meals" in split and one of the shakers crashed to the floor covering me, my work jacket and my stunning new gym shoes in liquefied cucumber. My jacket will need to be dry cleaned. The lower third is covered in chunky green bits, having absorbed most of the liquid into the woolen fibres. Knowing that I am going to be cold today is bringing me to the verge of tears.  For a person who loves food, I don't even care that my first meal of the day is now splattered all over the foyer of the building I work in because it is no great loss anyway. My coat can be dry cleaned; I will take it down at lunch time. But my shoes.  My beautiful two day old orange and fluro pink Nikes will have an eternal green tinge.

And I feel so bad about the mess it made in the lobby. There is green splattered all over the floor. But, as is the way in a large corporate environment, all the cleaning products are locked away. For "safety". And it is still before 5am so there's no one I can call either.

Great start to the day!!

In flight ponderings

Observation leads to understanding and that, as humans, while it is fine to have things to entertain you, you were designed to think. Human brains crave stimulation. We thrive on learning new things. Our lives are richer when we are challenged. Having a dream, planning and then working steadily towards it brings deep satisfaction.

I find human psychology is fascinating. Knowing how the mind works means that we can moderate our responses. We can learn to respond differently - to train our brains to think in another way. It is, quite literally, a re-wiring. Through cognitive behavioural therapy (check it out here), we create neural pathways in the brain that alter our behaviour and the way in which we subsequently respond to similar situations. With reinforcement and conscious effort, we literally retrain our brains to function in a different way.

Change, therefore, is difficult but not impossible.

Change requires commitment. Discipline. Dedication. Perseverance.

And, when old habits take hold again (as they do from time to time); don't berate yourself. Accept that you are human and keep trying. Observe where you deviated from the path you wanted to be on and take corrective action to ensure it doesn't happen the next time you are in the same situation. Change, in this way, is incremental. With each re-exposure to a similar situation you make minor modifications in the way you respond and, therefore, you rewire your brain to respond in the alternate way in future.

This is your wake up call to get up each morning with renewed determination to do better. And, with time, you will.

Detox

I recently read Kate Hudson's "Pretty Happy" and was motivated to try a cleanse. This was expedited when I contracted food poisoning from a hotel restaurant while in New Zealand for work. The time was right to set my body a new challenge.

Being the fussiest fusspot in the world when it comes to food (allergies to onion and garlic are not conducive to standard cleanses), I finally found some juice options that needed only minor modifications for them to be able to fit into my diet. So, today I embarked on a three day juice cleanse. For the next 72 hours I will drink only juiced fruits and vegetables designed to rid my body of toxins and heal me from the inside.

While high expectations have been set by those who precede me, I am not unaware of the benefits of detoxifying the body. While I try to "eat clean", I do stray. I eat ice cream from time to time (dairy is my weakness) and the odd chocolate sneaks in with my nighttime cup of tea as I chill on the couch. That said, I recently returned from two weeks in New Zealand for a business trip and my eating habits while I was there were deplorable - such is the life of a chick on the road at the mercy of corporate catering. Add to this the aforementioned food poisoning which saw me throwing up for a night and my body was left feeling sluggish and bloated and my skin blotchy.

I am trying to approach the cleanse with an open mind. A sweet tooth at heart, the thought of drinking three cups of pulsated spinach is not all that appealing, to be honest. But I am determined to get my insides in order ahead of a new training program I will commence next week.

The challenge has been set - now is the time to test my willpower, determination and resolve. And hope that I get through the next 72 hours without causing harm to myself or others

Weekly motivation - week 16 - Time

There is a Cherokee philosophy that professes "either you run the day or the day runs you". Planning is paramount to ensure success.

We all have the same number of hours in the day. The way in which we utilise the time available to us is what sets us apart from the mob. 

Sure, there are times when you will elect to while away the hours in relaxation. That is not wasted time. That is a conscious choice to take a break. Structuring your free times means that you have flow in your day. Even when you are chilling out.

What are the time-wasters in your day? How can you eliminate or minimise them? What can you do to make mundane tasks more efficient? What can you do today with the 24 hour you have available to make your life happier?

Don't always say "there's still time" because time waits for no man. There is a little concept called "it's too late". Don't let that happen to you. Carpe diem.