Happy New Year

This has been another year of growth for me. 2015 has taught me

1. That I love my kids more every day. They are incredible humans and I am astounded they came from me. Each year I'm astounded by the depth of love I have for my munchkins. Each year I think it can't grow. Each year it does. 

2. That actions speak louder than words. People will tell you what you want to hear in order to get what they want out of you. If they're not doing what they said they would. They won't. Don't fall for their bullshit. 

3. That expectations lead to disappointment.

4. To always choose experiences over possessions. 

5. Things don't always work out. Always have a plan B. 

6. To take care of myself. Eat well. Drink plenty of water. Exercise. Invest in  health. You'll pay for it at one end or the other so it might as well be the farmer over the physician. 

7. Rely on no one

8. True happiness comes from within. Make your own and carry it with you. 

9. To fight for what you want but don't let the battle consume you. Know when you have been beaten. When you lose, hold your head high and walk away with pride knowing you gave it your best shot. 

10. To always telling the truth. It may not be the fastest road to where you want to get to but you'll arrive there in peace. 

In 2015 I lived. I truly lived life. I travelled and spent time with those I love. I took chances and tried new things. I listened more and spoke less. I found patience through acceptance. I rested more and stressed less. 

In 2016 I will not only turn forty but I will cross off my topmost bucket list wish - to travel to New York. 

Carpe diem

Today I dined at a restaurant called Carpe Diem. Not surprisingly, the establishment had a spiel on the wall stating that every day (spelled as one word which got my goat) is a gift and that needs to be cherished. 

Cheesy, yes. But still it struck a cord with me. 

I truly believe that if you want something you should go after it. I am well aware of the side effects of  not acting. I know that sitting idle while waiting for someone is unhealthy and depressing. 

The message on the wall seemed like a wake up call for me. I've spent almost a year waiting for something. Waiting (sometimes patiently other times less so) and I am very nearly done. 

Pause

Are you getting married? When are you going to start taking this seriously?

Well. It is actually none of your business! Marriage is also not up to just one person in the relationship. Furthermore, it is a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. 

The fact that I would marry my man in a heartbeat even after a messy divorce says a lot. He's amazing but I cannot make him put a ring on it. Nor would I want to. Marriage is something that should be willingly entered into by both parties. And, if I have learned one thing in life it is that you don't always get what you want. I am with a lovely man who treats me with respect and holds similar values. He is kind, generous and thoughtful. He holds down a successful career, takes care of his health and adores my children. I can't ask for more than that!

So, next time you think about asking someone an inappropriate question - whether it be about their marital status, their weight or desire to have children - pause. Take a step back and consider how your nosy behaviour might affect them. Have some consideration for the fact that maybe they want to get married but their partner doesn't, they have a mental illness which means they eat for comfort and you bringing up the subject will only send them on another downward spiral of gorging themselves on the contents of the fridge or that they might be going through though fertility treatments to conceive a much desired for baby. Quell your desire to know everything about someone. Generally speaking, if they want to talk to you about their relationship, they will. You won't need to go prying. 

And if you do ask, be prepared for one of a couple of options:

- they will turn the question back on you in an attempt to make you uncomfortable (and hopefully realise your faux pas)

- they will blush with embarrassment and go silent (while considering whether they want to continue to spend time with you)

- they will give you a long string of reasons why whatever intrusive thing you have asked has not happened yet