Heart of a lion

As I listened to Emeli Sande's 'Read All About It' the line "You've got the heart as loud as lions" really struck a chord with me. I am often moved by lyrics. They make me think about life and about the choices in life. About the stuff that really matters. This was on the back of seeing The Rock's 'San Andreas' where his characterised marriage to the mother of the leading lady of the film nearly ends because he didn't know how to open up. I struggle to do this too. I struggle to have deep and meaningful conversations. This is mainly because I am a people pleaser. So, when I do have these kind of discussions, I tend to make decisions that lead to happiness for the other person; rather than my own happiness.

I have real issues with the way in which I make decisions. I am overly conscious about other people. I worry about what they will say, how they will feel and how my decisions affect them. While consideration for others is important, it means that I always miss out. My heart is so big, so generous and so giving that I put others' needs ahead of my own.

I have been trying to focus on me and my needs. I have tried to be better at looking after myself. I have done all that I can to make sure I am okay; that I am not going to lose myself again. I fear that I will let go of my dreams again and am conscious of that. However, my selflessness often means that these ideals slip and my lion heart ends up breaking. Again.

Career planning and professional development

For years, I have plodded through life. Left foot. Right foot.

Lately, I have been feeling lost, unappreciated and unmotivated. It has caused me to reassess. While I really want to own my own business (a bar or cafe perhaps), I cannot see a way to achieve this as a first step. So, as with most things in life, if you want something you have to work for it.  Some months ago I enrolled in a Diploma of Project Management. Ever since I spend any time I can squirrel away to work towards completing the qualification. It's not a lot of time, but all that I have available at the moment.

I hope to be finished by the end of next year which will allow me to start looking for a new role in 2017.

Where skills don't match passion

I love to dance. There's nothing else that immediately sets my mood on the up than dancing. But I suck. I truly suck. People mock my 'style'. There are times when I toy with the idea of stopping. I worry that I embarrass the people that I am with. But the joy I get from dancing means that I just cannot. I feel like I am being untrue to myself; depriving myself of something that makes me so happy

The love letter

The love letter is as old as language itself as evidenced by a letter written to Hitittie in Ancient Egypt. With the advent of texting and tweeting it is at threat of extinction. A love letter is a declaration of devotion. An expression of affection. It is an outpouring from one heart to another.

A love letter is something that exposes the writer to the recipient and allows insight into the depth and breadth of feeling the former has for the latter. It is an opportunity to deliver an uninterrupted display of affection for one's partner.

There is something special about receiving a letter (especially if hand written) that shows you how loved and admired you are by the one you share your life with.

Bring back the love letter!