Sharing sleep

I've travelled a lot for work in the last few months and am generally only home on the weekend. For the next two weeks I'm travelling with my sister. 

I miss my man so much. I miss the kisses when I get home at the end of the day, random hugs in the kitchen, eating real food (I load up on veggies on the weekends) and having his arm casually draped over me as he quietly snores and loudly farts away at night. 

A flatulent fellow, his trumpet bum often wakes me at night. Reverberations from the gases that eek out of his butt shake the bed. Men can be disgusting creatures. 

But I miss it when I can't be in his space overnight. The weight of his arm across my chest, the warmth of his stomach against my back, the soothing sound of his slow rhythmic breathing, the last kiss on my shoulder before he settles in to sleep, the way he rearranges the boys every time he rolls over. I miss it all. 

There's something special about sharing sleep that sets the day up right to begin with. Waking up next to the one you love is, in my opinion, the best part about morning. That micro step from drifting into slumber to awareness of self the next day is made so much more pleasant when in the arms of a loved one. While I am loving my holiday I am never planning to go away again without my man. 

Dreams do come true

As I sit in the departure lounge at Melbourne's domestic airport, I am faced with the reality that I am on the first leg towards my dream destination. Nine days in NYC await me after a brief stop off in San Fran. Tonight I will be going to Alcatraz. It blows my mind!

I have been saving for this trip for a long time. It will be my first holiday with my sister as just the two of us. I am starting to get excited.

After four very long months at work I am so ready for a break. I have been overworked and overwhelmed and I am exhausted. A part of me worries that my sleep deprived state will put a massive dampener on the trip but I hope that I can have a nap on the leg to Sydney and a proper sleep en route from Sydney to San Fran.

With a jam packed itinerary ahead of us, my sister and I plan to see all the big attractions - Alcatraz, Lombard St, the Golden Gate Bridge and views of the city from Twin Peaks. After an overnight flight to NYC we have a 48 hour hop on hop off bus tour, breakfast on the high line, Phantom on Broadway, a cruise down the Hudon on 4th of July, high tea at the Plaza, Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge and the infamous rainbow bagel then a spot of shopping.

I can't wait. I have been planning and paying for this holiday for years. Part of me can't believe the moment is actually here and I have to admit that I am a little nervous. With a new day bag equipped with RFID proof internal pocket and cut proof straps I think I am ready for what the States throws at me. A new Nikkon D5500 from my man so I can take a million photos of the city that never sleeps and I think I am about set.

Dreams. Come at me!

Weekly motivation - week 26

We are mid way through the year. Now's a good time to look back at the goals you made at the start of the year and track your progress against them. Take time to contemplate the resolutions you made and why you made them. Are they still what you want for your life? If not, do you need to consider other options for the remainder of the year?

If it is too daunting to look at the next six months as a whole - chunk it up. Make a mini list of goals for this month. Now go out and smash them. One at a time!

Windy Wellington

I recently diverted from my standard fly in fly out arrangement to Auckland and had a work week in Wellington. While exhausting (as training always is due to the preparation and time away from 'real' work while conducting sessions with trainees), I made the best of the situation by grabbing moments where possible.

From the frosty flight with stunning views of snow-topped mountains into the windiest city the world, I was taken around the southern hemisphere's largest roundabout (it house a cricket pitch and stadium) to the tiny little office in the backstreets of the outskirts of Wellington city. Not realising how close the office was to the hotel, I spent a freezing half hour in the night air at the end of the day waiting for a cab - it turns out Wellingtonians don't work past five. And when I say five, I mean they start packing up at 1650 and the key is turned in the lock (no security passes or 24 hour access available) promptly at 1700.

In the chaos that is inevitable when working abroad, I did manage to sneak out to watch the sun rise (praise be to a 0745 dawn as I managed to do a solid three hours of work before escaping). I took a not so quick hike to the top of Mount Victoria. Though I somehow got lost (and had to take a call about a failed software release at the summit) it was SO worth it.

The hour and forty minute sweat-inducing hike up to the top of an extinct volcano was undone in nine minutes with a very swift run back to the hotel.

I have to admit that I was not expecting much from the windy city. I had heard rumours about the wind and cold; about how miserable it was and to be prepared. I was so impressed. The city is pretty and clean, there are funky cafes dotted around the coastal town, they have random acts of art in the form of sculpture and paintings all over the foreshore and the sun shone. Every day! I could see it through the office window and I am delighted that I was lucky enough to experience it rising up on a frigid winter morning with sweat pouring off me after having run up what turned out to be an extreme rated mountain bike track. Not the walking track I was meant to navigate to at all, let's be honest. Designed for downhill adrenaline runs on a jacked up BMX, it was a challenging run to say the least. The sprint back on the ACTUAL track was much kinder on my heart and my knees.

Thank you Wellington for the timely reminder that you always have to make the best of a situation. With a little bit of effort I managed to make a memorable occasion of a stress-filled, over burdened work schedule. I will never forget the heaving mess I was when I answered my phone from the top of that mountain - one of the most invigorating experiences of my life!

Writing for money

Long hours at work lately have made me realise how far away I am from my dream.

I don't hate my job by any stretch - I work with some amazing people, I like finding solutions to problems, I am analytical and I get a lot of personal satisfaction through the training aspect of my role (there is few things that I like more than to share knowledge - as the Dalai Lama says, it is the only way to immortality). But my passion is writing.

I am lucky in that I do get to put (virtual) pen to paper in my paid work but technical manuals, requirements documents and business reports are not the least creative.

The older I get, the more I realise how much people like my writing. It was always something I did for me but through my writings here and in opening my heart in personal correspondence I have been overwhelmed by the responses I have received.

After my divorce, I found that people actually think I am funny. I always thought there was something wrong with me because my ex didn't really laugh at my jokes. But in the last five years, I have found my humour appreciated and well received. It was a major revelation.

So too is writing. I have always found writing easier than conversation (though I am not terrible in the boardroom by any stretch). Writing is a medium in which you are one step removed from your audience and, as such, the rawness with which you can bear your soul is a level up. Gamers rejoice for this is the realm where anything is possible!

Now I face the realisation that, in order to be true to myself, I  need to find a way to make money doing something I love. I am increasingly frustrated with myself and this is the root cause.

As with IT projects, once you have found the root cause of an issue you can begin to resolve it. My task is to find a way to make money from writing.

I consider myself blessed because I can write about anything. I know this because I took up a challenge posed to me by my nephew recently where I wrote six hundred words (exactly) on a hole in a roti bread.  Seriously, read it for yourself.

For the next two weeks, while I travel to my number one destination of choice, I will be pondering in the background ways in which to generate an income from writing. Game on!

600 words on a hole in a roti bread

A young man in a small suburban Thai restaurant was shocked to hear that his aunt likes writing. A little on the eccentric side, she was telling her nephew that she loves to write and will happily string together sentences on any topic. In humourous disbelief he inadvertently set her the challenge to write six hundred words on a hole in a roti bread; the first thing that came to mind considering he'd just eaten the centre out of a roti and was staring at it when the conversation ensued. Challenge accepted.
Roti, an Indian flatbread originating in Malaysia, is crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. Made from kneading and flattening a mixture of flour and water that is intermittently oiled with butter (or, more traditionally, ghee) and repeatedly folded before being cooked; roti is generally served with curry dishes. Designed to be eaten with the hands, roti is a staple in Thai, Indonesian, Malaysian and Singaporean cooking.
Roti is generally served plain but there are filled and dessert versions with condensed milk the sweetener of choice.
That’s enough history and culinary descriptors, for this is a story about a hole in a roti. Table manners aside, roti is a delectable treat eaten without utensils. I say treat because, in a modern diet where food is plentiful and we are spoiled for choice, it is not essential for maintaining weight. Loaded with saturated (read unhealthy) fat and refined white flour, roti offers almost no nutritional value. Far from the wholemeal grounds on which roti was developed, the modern take is designed for economies of scale. Moreover, the standard modern diet in a western country has not need for such a fat laden food source.
Regardless of how much mains are eaten on a Sunday night, the two serves of roti are always devoured.
Nutrition notwithstanding, roti is delicious. Served warm, roti is pure comfort food. In fact, it is the perfect thing for a cold, rainy winter Sunday night following a victorious football win. And, when you're onto your forth in a single sitting, what else would you do but take the flatbread and bite the fold before opening it up to display your chomping prowess. A Sunday ritual, the last roti of the night is always consumed in this manner. Take folded roti. Nibble on fold. Unfold roti. Inspect hole. Refold roti into a small ball-shaped piece of cooked dough. Eat remainder in a single mouthful, overfilling the available space and forcing the cheeks to resemble those of a chipmunk.
On this particular night the last roti was taken from the communal plate and held, almost lovingly, before a couple of munches were taken from the folded roti. After unfolding the rot, inspection showed the resultant hole. A lopsided chasm, the hole had a large bulbous circle to the bottom right and a small nodular bump on the top left. Roughly a third of the roti was missing from the centre. Held delicately by two corners, the young man looked through the hole, rotated the bread slightly then tilted it from left to right like it was doing the twist. With greasy fingers from the buttery residue of the still-warm roti the boy craftily commenced refolding the bread into the obligatory ball. Rolling it around in his hands for a while he felt the crispy texture of the outside of the bread where it had been grilled and scorched in a hot pan. Then, in a flash, he popped it into his mouth and it was gone.

Converting down time to alive time

Short on time, I skim read this article today and it has not left me. There are so many times when we are idle - traffic, queues, airports, evenings.

Don't get me wrong, rest is important and should not be underestimated. Our brains need time to be bored. But not idle. Boredom is fundamental to creativity. It is only when the brain is quiet that we think of new things - inventions, new ways of doing something old or obtain a new perspective.

But in the days of smart phones, where every minute of our day our brains are bombarded with short bursts of (useless) information we are training our minds to be reactive. We are not coaching ourselves or our children into deep thought. We are actively discouraging the attention required to read a book. An actual book. Words on a page with the flipping of textured paper beneath our fingers and static print on a solid medium.

Instead, we flick through Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat (or whatever the latest craze is) with frantic thirst for 'information' in its loosest form - gossip. Celebrity gossip has been replaced by family and friend gossip - who's doing what (or eating/drinking what) with whom and where. While I actually love social media for it's ability to connect people who are geographically isolated, I hate it for removing us from the ones who are right in front of our faces.

If our smart phones and tablets only had social media on them it might not be too bad but there are endless other possibilities presented by the App Store or Google Play or whatever medium you have to download stimulation to your handheld device. Very little of this stimulation actually activates our brains though. It occupies it instead. We are not encouraging thought we are activating neurons. And, no, it is not the same thing. The way neurons fire in response to electronic signals is fundamentally different to how they behave when reading or drawing.

There are much smarter people than me out there - take their word for it. Neuroscientists around the world (Europe, India, Saudi Arabia and the US). Psychologists are getting in on the act too.

So, how do we, in the digital age, change the way we work to ensure our brains don't deteriorate? The answer is simple - read. Buy books (actual real books not e-books for your e-reader) and read them.

There is so much information out there. Read it. Soak it up. Dedicate time each day to retrain your brain.

*Toddles off to read The Sleep Revolution.....

Tea time

I spent the week working in Wellington last week. While still away from home, it was nice to travel somewhere new and experience different things. I was so pleasantly surprised with Wellington. Sunny, warm (yes! In June!!) and not at all windy. Well, a little windy but nothing different to Melbourne or Auckland and nothing like what I was expecting.

I stayed at the Amora and was so impressed. The breakfast buffet, though modest, had all the necessities and the prettiest tea set I have ever had the privilege of using. I did not think I was one for fine China or pretty florals but it turns out, I was wrong. While I would never choose to have this kind of crockery in my own home, I found it quite likable to drink from.

The pot was large enough for me to have three decent sized cups of tea over the course of breakfast. And, due to the volume of water, it held it's temperature better than the smaller tea pots so the last cup was still warm enough to drink. I always find that a fine edge to a cup makes the tea taste better. I like the little chink the cup makes as you put it back on the saucer (a luxury I would never have the patience for at home). Plus, I love butterflies.

It was such a nice way to start the day.

Fighting against who you are

Change is never easy. According to experts, by the time we're six or seven, we have become who we will essentially be for the rest of our lives.

So, when you get to being an adult and you decide you don't like who you are, it is fucking hard work to change that.

I am a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist at works means that I am in the office longer than I should be. I hold high (very high) standards for myself and the quality of work that I produce. As such, I cannot easily let things go if they are not 100%.

While this could be construed as an incredible positive for the corporation (though it is not valued like it should be); it comes at great personal sacrifice. Family time, chill time and me time are the things that suffer because of my nature.

And then there's the constant onslaught from loved ones - "you work too hard", "there has to be a better way of doing that", "you have to stop working so much", "you need time out". While their cautions come from a place of love, to a perfectionist their words cut like a knife.

The fight I wage internally is so much more painful. I KNOW I need more sleep. I KNOW I work too many hours. I KNOW it is not healthy. But my father ingrained in my work ethic with this simple phrase "if you are going to do something, do it well".

A blessing and a curse, this mantra has led me to produce some stellar pieces in my lifetime. But it is not without cost. Eventually, tipping point is reached and I cut back but I quickly slip back into old habits of long hours at the office.

I fear I will never find the balance I need to keep everyone happy. Damn pride!

I'm so lucky I have

• Energetic, intelligent and kind children
• A supportive and loving sister
• Good health, an active mind and creativity
• A sweet, strong, sexy boyfriend 
• A warm, safe and secure home
• A job
• Great friends 

Gratitude makes for a great attitude. I am starting this week on a light and happy note in the hope of carrying it forward throughout the week

Weekly motivation - week 25

Creativity is rare. Most people (sheeple) follow the pack - it's how society works and maintains order due to the regularity of the majority. But it's not how we progress as a species. Progression comes from finding new ways of doing things, from thinking outside the box. Advancement comes from a place of creation; where new things are built or finding new ways of doing things.

Creativity comes in many forms - art, invention, dance, writing, technology, architecture, How are you creative in your daily life?

Airport workings

Traveling for work is anything but glamorous. There are early mornings, late nights, airport queues, dehydration, missed meals, flight delays, squatting to poop so you don't touch filthy airport toilets and sleepless nights in strange beds. The time passes in a blur of voicemail messages, frantic phone calls as you pass through immigration, taxi rides and hunched shoulders as you send "one last email" before boarding

Travelling for work comes at huge personal cost - sleep deprivation, weight gain (there's no space for a regular gym routine when you are on and off flights and operating in different time zones) and stress (think hair loss, big black bags under eyes and irritability). If you travel a lot, home time is not home time. It's unpacking, washing and repacking time. It's de-stressing time not relaxing time. It's where you have to put in a lot of effort to reconnect with friends and family,

Travelling for work strengthens or breaks relationships. Honestly though being away from home puts a strain on relationships, if they break, they probably would have broken eventually anyway.

The organisation (being the psychopath it is) largely fails to recognise this. The organisation sees it as a privilege to travel, like it's doing you a huge personal favour to "allow' you to not see family and friends and completely throw away any routine your life may have had.

But all this comes with opportunities to meet new people, see new places, dine on food you would not ordinarily eat and, if you are lucky to travel to multiple destinations, experience the world in a different way.

Turn inspiration into action

Inspiration stems from people who break the rules. From those who step outside the realms of 'normal' and achieve the impossible. Stories of athletes who overcome all odds to compete in their chosen fields; underdogs who come out on top, paupers who become millionaires; people who follow their dreams and those who chose passion over obligation. The people that inspire us are risk takers. Their success in the face of adversary is what sets them apart from the rest of the world. It's also what inspires others to push a little harder.
Without the success of others, we may be content with less. We might not chase our dreams or follow a life filled with passion. It is those courageous souls who go against societal norms to achieve greatness that provides us with hope.
Fear is what holds the rest of use back from chasing our dreams, from stepping out on a limb. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of loss - whether it be monetary or the intangible loss of ego.
Having the courage to back yourself involves an enormous leap of faith.
Hopes and dreams are just that for so many people. For others they are the impetus to greatness. For a lucky few, dreams combine with a plan to create a success story.
So. What can you do to turn your dreams into a reality? What steps need to be taken to move you towards a life of success; one the fills you not only with a sense of accomplishment but pride?
How can you change the humdrum of daily life into something rewarding and satisfying?
Well, the first step is identifying what your dreams are. Once you know what your heart truly desires you can take action. You can make a plan - whether it be to study or to save enough to invest in yourself.
The next step is to research - find others who have done what you want to do, investigate what your dreams require to be a success, make contacts to support your plan, find ways to start small so you can test the water before leaping headfirst into the raging torrent.
Thirdly, take action. Make a move on your plan. Trust in yourself and your abilities and just do it.

Weekly motivation - week 24

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt.

It is no secret that I love Teddy. He is one of the wisest politicians and, according to my research, a sound and intelligent human. This is one of my all-time favourite quotes. It is a succinct reminder of the folly of comparing yourself to others. Life is not a competition. Sport, maybe. But life is meant to be lived without juxtaposition.

The only person you are in competition with is yourself. Look in the mirror. Be better than that guy tomorrow.

Weekly motivation - week 22

Project you.

You are the biggest and most rewarding project you will ever work on.

If you were a project what would you need to work on? What would you need to invest in? What would you need to accept as a risk? How would you mitigate that risk? What issues do you face? What tasks would need to be completed as a part of the project? What tasks would be quick wins? What would task/s would be on your critical path?

If you were a project, what timeline would you give yourself to meet 'completion'? What would your exit criteria for completion be?

Weekly motivation - week 21

Strength does not come what what you can do. Strength comes from overcoming the things you once could not do.

What strength have you gleaned over the past six months? What are you now able to do that you were not over summer? How have you grown? What new strengths do you have?

Weekly motivation - week 23

It is better to be admired than to be popular. Strive to better yourself; not to please others

There is no doubt that happiness comes from within. It is no secret that happiness takes continual work. It is a conscious choice to be happy. With the hectic pace of life as we know it, it is very easy to get bogged down in negativity. But, with awareness, it is possible to find happiness in every situation. It is fundamental that you are your own source of happiness. It is imperative that you can make yourself happy. Relying on others to generate happiness on your behalf means you are always a slave.

By taking accountability for your own happiness, it becomes self-perpetuating.

One of the ways to ensure happiness over long periods of time (i.e. your life) is to continue to grow. By bettering yourself, you ultimately find new ways to be happy. 'betterment' might be a hobby, a volunteer job, education/reading or random acts of kindness.

What can you do to better yourself? Is there something that you want to (or need to) work on? Is anything niggling at you for attention? Do you have a lifelong dream that is aching to be fulfilled?