In the last few months I have had almost constant menstrual bleeding. I have seen three doctors, two gynos and going to my third on Monday. While I doubt more children are on the cards for me, I just cannot bring myself to have a hysterectomy. I had a friend from my school days die of an diagnosed infection after having a mirena fitted and, in case my partner wants kids, I have, for the moment, ruled out options (like endometral ablation) that will affect my fertility. I have had an implanon inserted and subsequently removed. I have changed oral contraceptive pill twice. I have watched my iron levels drop to the point where an infusion was required.
The hormonal dance has not been a pretty one. I am moody and excessively sad. I have put on nine kilograms. I am fucking miserable. I am so sick of bleeding. Unrelenting bleeding. Sometimes it is manageable but there are days where I have to change my sanitary protection every twenty minutes. And I have endured a number of massive bleeds where my legs have been covered in blood. In one such event, the force of the explosion was so great so as to expel the tampon that was inserted. Thankfully that particular joyful experience happened in the bathroom. Still, it is an embarrassment and an inconvenience to say the least.
The issues of continual menstrual cycle are greater than the obvious inability to have sex with my spunky man. They include the fact that I cannot attend a fitness class without having to duck out to the bathroom part way through. I like to weight train and I cannot safely squat without fear of leaking. My quality of life has been quite severely affected. And I am not happy!
My life is ruled by proximity to a ladies' bathroom. It is debilitating.
Add to this the expense incurred. Tampons, pads and sanitary liners all add up. Especially if you are using them 28 out of 31 says a month. Then there's the GP appointments, specialists and medications. The ultrasound alone set me back nearly $900. The iron infusion was another $500. It is out of control. Thankfully, I have health insurance which has meant that I don't have to wait for treatment through the public system but cost is crippling.
Over the top of all of this is constant questions - do I really want more children? Is it wise, at nearly forty, to try to preserve my fertility considering the stress that my body is currently under. The bleeding aside, the drop in iron levels have seen damage to my hair and nails. My lips are constantly cracked. I am often short of breath. I get dizzy. Concentration is a thing of the past. And the ability to control my temper? Completely lost.
My boyfriend is amazingly patient and supportive but we've only been together a short time and to make decisions of such gravity now is, quite understandably, not something he's prepared to do. So I feel trapped and alone. I am weighed down by an immense decision. On one hand, I cannot entertain the idea of bleeding like this indefinitely. On the other, I don't want to consider something that will affect my fertility. Despite the fact that I am nearly forty, I always wanted four children and I am still not willing to emotionally let go of that. However, I am blessed with two gorgeous children and if there are no more in my future I will be a very happy lady.
The hormonal dance has not been a pretty one. I am moody and excessively sad. I have put on nine kilograms. I am fucking miserable. I am so sick of bleeding. Unrelenting bleeding. Sometimes it is manageable but there are days where I have to change my sanitary protection every twenty minutes. And I have endured a number of massive bleeds where my legs have been covered in blood. In one such event, the force of the explosion was so great so as to expel the tampon that was inserted. Thankfully that particular joyful experience happened in the bathroom. Still, it is an embarrassment and an inconvenience to say the least.
The issues of continual menstrual cycle are greater than the obvious inability to have sex with my spunky man. They include the fact that I cannot attend a fitness class without having to duck out to the bathroom part way through. I like to weight train and I cannot safely squat without fear of leaking. My quality of life has been quite severely affected. And I am not happy!
My life is ruled by proximity to a ladies' bathroom. It is debilitating.
Add to this the expense incurred. Tampons, pads and sanitary liners all add up. Especially if you are using them 28 out of 31 says a month. Then there's the GP appointments, specialists and medications. The ultrasound alone set me back nearly $900. The iron infusion was another $500. It is out of control. Thankfully, I have health insurance which has meant that I don't have to wait for treatment through the public system but cost is crippling.
Over the top of all of this is constant questions - do I really want more children? Is it wise, at nearly forty, to try to preserve my fertility considering the stress that my body is currently under. The bleeding aside, the drop in iron levels have seen damage to my hair and nails. My lips are constantly cracked. I am often short of breath. I get dizzy. Concentration is a thing of the past. And the ability to control my temper? Completely lost.
My boyfriend is amazingly patient and supportive but we've only been together a short time and to make decisions of such gravity now is, quite understandably, not something he's prepared to do. So I feel trapped and alone. I am weighed down by an immense decision. On one hand, I cannot entertain the idea of bleeding like this indefinitely. On the other, I don't want to consider something that will affect my fertility. Despite the fact that I am nearly forty, I always wanted four children and I am still not willing to emotionally let go of that. However, I am blessed with two gorgeous children and if there are no more in my future I will be a very happy lady.
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