Through every storm

I drove home through an incredible hail storm recently. The noise was deafening. It (literally) drowned out my tunes. All I could hear was ice on metal as I navigated peak hour traffic. Everyone knows that the masses cannot drive in the wet. A little rain and all of a sudden lane changes cause havoc, people cannot use their indicators, they brake for no reason and accident rates increase. 

As I inched my way towards home, I had the overwhelming feeling that something good was going to happen. No, the traffic didn't miraculously part so I had a clear run home (though that would have been welcomed). But, as I came over a rise, navigating the madness that comes from a bus in the left lane and a tram in the right, the most vivid double rainbow I had ever seen greeted my eyeballs. It was incredible (the photo does not do it justice). The colours were iridescent and the stark contrast it gave against the previous encounter with ice particles bouncing off my windscreen was uplifting.

The analogy to my life was not lost on me. I had years of misery where I felt trapped, alone and cold. But I made it through the darkness and all I can see now is light. Sure, there are times when I lose faith in myself. There are times when I stumble. There are even times when I fall flat on my face. But the light does not leave me anymore. I am surrounded by my own glow. I carry a fire with me that I lost for a long time. I am stronger now than I ever have been - both physically and mentally. I have the brain space to see things with a logical perspective. While my life is far from perfect (I am still working towards having my babies with me full time) and there are many aspects I continue to work on (washboard abs are not forthcoming), I am truly at peace with who I am at my core.

The rain will still come and go from time to time. And that's a good thing. I will use it to water my internal garden. I will soak in the times where things are not going well rather than wallow. I see the down times in life as a chance to take stock. An opportunity for reflection and growth. I know that life is never going to be a glossy magazine fairy tale. And I am truly okay with that