Move your body to the beat

I have not been dancing much this year. I have been taking stock of my life, reassessing and reprioritising. I do miss it, weekly. But I have other things that are more important to me and life is all about prioritisation.  So, I have to make do with Zumba and dancing in my lounge room to get me through. I still listen to music at work, in the car, while doing the groceries and walking. Music is my sanity saver; my salvation. It cures my ills, heightens my mood or lifts me from the pits of despair.

Happy happy joy joy

Yesterday was my son's 10th birthday.Today is my Dad's birthday. I love celebrations. I love that our family bands together for the important events in life.

The purity of love

I am blessed to be loved by many people - my family and some gorgeous friends. One family friend in particular always makes me feel like a million bucks. His compliments are so sincere and heartfelt that they actually stick. Where I usually brush comments about my appearance or personality away without a second thought when this particular man compliments me I know that he means every word of what he says.

I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have someone like him in my life.  I am richer, happier and less stressed for knowing this man. He continues to show me that there are good guys out there. He adores his wife and his children, he is a successful businessman and has many hidden talents. I am forever indebted to him (and his lovely wife) for the support, compassion and comfort they provide me. They have opened their home and their hearts to me and I am very thankful.

Fucking shit up

I just can't seem to get anything right. I try so hard to do the right thing; to make people happy; to help out; to make others feel special and to show my love to the people I care about. But I just keep missing the mark. I seem to fuck up at every turn. I'm exhausted by it. After all my efforts I just get thrown to the wolves. I'm tired. I am so fucking emotionally drained.

Vomit brings clarity

I accidentally ate garlic last night. Not much but enough to force me to spend multiple hours on the bathroom floor throwing the contents of my stomach violently into the toilet bowl.

In the sweaty delirium that comes with an allergic reaction I wished for the first time in a long time that I was not alone. Not that anyone could have done anything for me but it was the first time in a year or more that I would have liked to have someone in the house. Just in case. Perhaps for an "Are you okay?" or "Can I get you anything?".

Today my throat hurts from the acid burns, my stomach muscles are aching, I am light headed and I still feel queasy. I know that the after effects will last a few days and I am not looking forward to that but the experience has brought me some clarity and I again refocus on self care. I have booked to have my hair cut and arranged a massage. I will make time to do my nails tonight. Anything to make myself feel better about the loneliness I felt last night.

Most of the time I have no issues with living alone. There are times where I actually really love it; the freedom, the peace, the calm. But nothing soothes the soul like having someone who cares wrap you up in their arms and tell you it's all going to be okay.

Hey sista

I'm increasingly thinking that there's no such thing as love. I love readily. I'm generous and, as a result, I tend to miss out because I give more than I get.

The power of kisses

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen