I accidentally ate garlic last night. Not much but enough to force me to spend multiple hours on the bathroom floor throwing the contents of my stomach violently into the toilet bowl.
In the sweaty delirium that comes with an allergic reaction I wished for the first time in a long time that I was not alone. Not that anyone could have done anything for me but it was the first time in a year or more that I would have liked to have someone in the house. Just in case. Perhaps for an "Are you okay?" or "Can I get you anything?".
Today my throat hurts from the acid burns, my stomach muscles are aching, I am light headed and I still feel queasy. I know that the after effects will last a few days and I am not looking forward to that but the experience has brought me some clarity and I again refocus on self care. I have booked to have my hair cut and arranged a massage. I will make time to do my nails tonight. Anything to make myself feel better about the loneliness I felt last night.
Most of the time I have no issues with living alone. There are times where I actually really love it; the freedom, the peace, the calm. But nothing soothes the soul like having someone who cares wrap you up in their arms and tell you it's all going to be okay.
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