Nature therapy

There's a whole school of study (ecotherapy) into the therapeutic benefits of being close to nature. It cleanses the soul. Tonight, after Zumba, I was still feeling depleted do I made a trip to St Kilda to walk along the beach.

I walked and pondered a text I had received from a friend. I listened to the waves and felt the rain on my face. I marveled at the lights of the city and delighted in their twinkling brightness. I breathed in the fresh salty air. I felt my hair blow in the warm autumn breeze. I know that all too soon the warmth will be gone so I wanted to make the most of the glorious night.

I walked a long way; pondering the text in relation to my life. I thought of family and friends; thankful that I have the opportunities I do. As painful as it is that I am not with my children I try to make the most of what I have. I am determined never to repeat my actions of years gone by. If I see an opportunity to do something that might bring me a fleeting moment of happiness I jump on it.

I walked, stepping out my frustration at myself for being such an idiot. I trudged along, loathing the way my mind works; wanting desperately to be more like other people- detached and unfeeling. I want to be able to turn my emotions off and just ride through life.

After hours, I came back to the same conclusion I always do. I can't change the fundamentals of myself. I am who I am. So I sat down and dtafted a response. Drove home, read the response again once tucked up in bed to make sure it accurately portrayed the appropriate sentiment.