I spend a great deal of time trying to work through my issues. One of the niggling character traits I like least about myself is jealousy. I have, in the past, been an extremely jealous person. I know that my jealousy stems from deep-seated inadequacy which leads to insecurity and me second-guessing my self worth. Fear plays a big part as well; I only get jealous about things I fear I will lose, not only because they are valuable to me but due to a sense of helplessness. When I feel out of control in a situation, I tend to dwell on things more and see patterns of behaviour. My feelings are reinforced easily - an unanswered text (or series thereof), snide remarks of lying and dubious behaviour. The longer this goes on the more sensitive I am to repeat performances and the downward spiral takes hold.
I am mindful of this. I am aware that it is an issue and one I need to work on. But I also trust my gut for I am very rarely wrong.
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