Acapella

I am loving Karmin's Acapella.  I had a mixed bag weekend and found that reflective time brought me to a new place.  Acceptance has always been such a hard thing for me.  When I want something I hunt it down like a hound dog.

I am never going to be Cinderella.  There is no fairy tale so "watch me hit it solo".  I learnt this weekend that there is no one I can rely on but me. I will be forever grateful to my sister for helping me see that.  I have to toughen up and provide for me first. I am too nice; I do so much for other people but I am always on the bottom of the pile.  My gorgeous cousin made me realise that if I don't nurture myself first then I am not going to get anywhere.  Another beautiful cousin helped me see that the shitstorm I have been through is nothing that I cannot cope with.  It is not fun but I have the skills to deal with it, piece by piece.

For now, I am going to believe in others until such time I can believe in myself.  According to the people I love and trust the most I have a lot to offer the world.  I am smart, pretty, compassionate, motivated, talented, reliable and trustworthy.  You better totes believe that when I hit the runway at full strength the world won't know what to do with me.

I am worth being treated with respect.  I have boundaries and they are to be reinforced so I never get overrun again. I am going to be fine by myself.  I have passion.  I am powerful and I am going to fucking knock this shit out of the game park.

Watch me put me first.  Watch me treat myself like I treat the ones that I love.  And watch them fall over when I hit it solo.  I will need for no one.  I will be impenetrable.  I will be invincible.  I will be me and those who don't like it can GGF.  I am worth it and I am the only one that can do it.  I've been preparing myself for this for months.  Time to get off my arse and deliver.

I am not naive in thinking that there won't be bumps in the road but I am committed and once I set my mind to something there is not a thing that will stop me.