Forget the numbers

I have never been a fan of the numbers society uses as a gauge. I rejected it forcefully when pregnant with my first after being told that I was "failing to progress" in labour. Who the hell has the right to tell me I'm taking too long to dilate my cervix? A child has to fit through there you crazy psycho! Of course it's going to take a while. Then there was the amount of sleep, weight gains and head circumference measures. Whoa! Hold up there captain. Tens of thousands of years of evolution and we're reduced to assessing the health of our children by weight gains? Heard of a little epidemic called obesity?

It was then that I realised how driven by numbers we are - height, weight, wage, age - they're what we use to measure someone's worth. Hell, we even assign a score to people - apparently I'm a seven. Who does that? Since when have stats meant more than values, principles and behaviours? Why do people tolerate an arsehole because he earns six figures? Where's our own sense of worth gone? That we will put up with abuse (whether verbal or physical or both) at the hands of a man who cheats and lies just because he drives a nice car?

No more with the numbers peeps! Come on. We all need to take a serious look at ourselves and the people we associate with and determine whether they're the kind of people we want in our lives. Money and looks aside; are you surrounding yourself with loving, caring, genuine people? People who will come to your aid if you need them. People who keep their promises. People who respect you and treat you with compassion and consideration.

Or are you surrounded by people who let you down? Lie, cheat and make you feel bad?

I need to remind myself that I would rather be single forever than be verbally or physically abused. I would rather be alone forever than with a liar and a cheat. I would prefer to die having never had sex again than to wake up to a man who does not appreciate me and treat me with respect.

For the first time since I was a teen I am starting to sit back and assess the people that are in my life and objectively assess whether they treat me in the manner in which I deserve. I don't expect people to change but I am culling people from my life that don't makers feel good about myself; people that keep me in a place of misery and people that are unreliable. Don't make promises you can't keep!

I figure this is a good sign. I figure it means that I am, very slowly, getting stronger and more resilient. I feel more robust. I am less tolerant of misbehaviour. I am more honest about what I want, what I like, what I don't like, and what I deserve. I expect nothing. From anyone. But I have standards  now where I had none before.

So I refuse to judge people on the amount of money they earn, their postcode, their weight, or age or how really, really good looking they are. Instead, what matters to me are honesty, integrity and reliability. People who value their family and friends. People that talk not about celebrity hair style but of the things that matter in life - family, friends, love, sex and food.