When I was growing up I desperately wanted an older brother. I figured we would have less to fight about, he could impart wisdom on how the male mind works and he would have had an endless supply of hot friends. Don't get me wrong, at no point have I wanted to swap my sister for a brother. And that's saying something because there were times when I loathed that bitch!
No, I craved an additional sibling. The idea of a large family really appealed to me. I wanted brother a year older than my sister. I figured that'd be about perfect. His friends would be three years older than me, wise and sexy as fuck.
Alas, we don't always get what we want.
Instead, I am blessed with a sister I adore. And, because it was just the two of us growing up; we experienced a lot together. I crammed all the love I would have had spare for the brother I didn't have into my relationship with my sister. I drove her mad, I adored her so. And I have to admit, she was pretty patient with me. Most of the time.
When I look back at our relationship over the years I can see that we were never peas in a pod. We do not share many common interests (apart from the obligatory dancing and drinking - thanks Mumma!). But we were brought up to respect and value family above all else. And it worked. There is nothing I would not do for her.
When I look at our relationship now, I see her as a pillar of strength; that she's supporting me. It freaked me out the other day when she said, unprovoked, that I support her just as much - funny how perspective is everything.
Yesterday our children were playing together (which I LOVE). Usually when this happens the two of us will sit around and talk crap. However, my sister has been working very long hours for weeks on an important project and had to take a call from work. So, instead of sit on my arse and read about the glorification of others' lives, I cleaned up (with the kids on school holidays and my sister working the house was not at the standard she likes to maintain it at) and swept her floor. Then I took her youngest and my gorgeous children to play at McDonald's while I picked up dinner for her family (mine were having a sushi and baked potatoes).
It's a small thing, but something that I think demonstrates how real our relationship is. There's no air of pretense around us. Sadly, there are very few relationships that are like this. Most are superficial. Don't get me wrong; I am all for having fun but shallowness bothers me. I believe that depth is worth pursuing in every relationship. It is something I have neglected for many years because I was afraid of the truth coming out. I was unconsciously paranoid that someone would uncover the lie I was living and I was not in a position to face that. I now work tirelessly create relationships that have depth and provide meaning to my life.
I do believe you need to be discerning, however. Some people cannot be trusted, they put up a guise of caring to mask the fact that they are just looking for the next piece of gossip. Others are information hungry, desperate for something that will make them feel more superior. Then there are the few genuine ones that really care. And on the other end of the spectrum are those people that proclaim they don't care but actually do. These can be the most confusing because they consistently send mixed signals. They are worth pursuing, in my experience, as they generally have such a rich bank of knowledge to share. It's just hidden under layers. Like an onion. And you can peel back layer after layer and find nothing then, just when you are starting to lose hope you uncover another rare gem. So bright and beautiful it's worth all the effort.
Don't get me wrong. I also have acquaintances that are just for fun or necessity. Not every relationship has to be deep. There are some people in life that fill fleeting moments in your day. The ones I cherish, however, are the people I think about when they are not around - my children, my family and a close few friends.
It's a small thing, but something that I think demonstrates how real our relationship is. There's no air of pretense around us. Sadly, there are very few relationships that are like this. Most are superficial. Don't get me wrong; I am all for having fun but shallowness bothers me. I believe that depth is worth pursuing in every relationship. It is something I have neglected for many years because I was afraid of the truth coming out. I was unconsciously paranoid that someone would uncover the lie I was living and I was not in a position to face that. I now work tirelessly create relationships that have depth and provide meaning to my life.
I do believe you need to be discerning, however. Some people cannot be trusted, they put up a guise of caring to mask the fact that they are just looking for the next piece of gossip. Others are information hungry, desperate for something that will make them feel more superior. Then there are the few genuine ones that really care. And on the other end of the spectrum are those people that proclaim they don't care but actually do. These can be the most confusing because they consistently send mixed signals. They are worth pursuing, in my experience, as they generally have such a rich bank of knowledge to share. It's just hidden under layers. Like an onion. And you can peel back layer after layer and find nothing then, just when you are starting to lose hope you uncover another rare gem. So bright and beautiful it's worth all the effort.
Don't get me wrong. I also have acquaintances that are just for fun or necessity. Not every relationship has to be deep. There are some people in life that fill fleeting moments in your day. The ones I cherish, however, are the people I think about when they are not around - my children, my family and a close few friends.
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