Effort with ease

I'm taking up a new challenge. Starting now.

This afternoon I found out my contract is not going to be extended at work. I am not surprised but at the same time, I am devastated. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the location. I love working a nine day fortnight. I love the clean building and the underground car park. I love that my occasional afternoon chocolate fix supports a good cause. I love casual day that benefits children in need. I love the view from my desk and I love the way our local barista has, under instruction, perfected my morning hot chocolate.

I am, quite honestly, shitting my pants that I won't find another job. I, like many others, have financial obligations to meet. I could see this as yet another punch in the face, another gaping chasm in a life full of too many holes to fill. However, I am going to attempt to address the effort ahead of me with ease. It is my new motto and I am going to embrace it.

I know that I will lose sight of it; I will drop it and I will forget it at times. But I will continue to pick it up. Start again and proclaim to the world that I fear is out to destroy me and bring me down into a whimpering pile of tears: "Fuck you!". I do not give you permission to destroy me. I have worked too hard to be undone again. I will not be torn apart and ripped to shreds.

So, I take a deep breath. I sit up straight. I lift my head up and, as I exhale, I mentally picture pummeling my fist into the face of my boss. Not really. Okay only a little bit but enough so it hurts. No, seriously. I breathe in and out and try to let it go so I can focus on what needs to be done for me to move forward.

Onwards and upwards!