I'm free writing today. Because I haven't done it for a while. Because I cannot quiet the fear inside me. Because I believe that when something feels wrong there's something not right. I believe that I should trust my instincts but fear has me doubting myself. I flip a thousand times a day from yes to no and it's unhealthy. It's unproductive and destructive.
On one side there's contentment most days. On the other is the niggling feeling in being played. It has me questioning my worth as a person and I don't like that.
I keep hoping it will pass but it seems to be more distressing as time goes by.
I try to focus on the positive but it is getting harder to do that.
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