Roles

We all have a role to play in life. On a superficial level they are things like mother, child, sibling, friend, partner, mentor, employee. But on a more intrinsic level they are things like supporter, encourager, teacher, peace-maker.
Due to the complex nature of humans, we potentially play a different role (or even multiple roles) with different people. The roles we play are dictated not only by the nature of the relationship but also our experiences and overt or underlying motives.
Life is a game. Some people play openly - politicians and cheaters - while others play because they have to. We are somewhat obligated to fulfill certain roles in life in order to keep moving forward. For example, in my family I am the peace-keeper. I am a people-pleaser by nature so I tend to placate. I diffuse volatile situations and encourage calmer seas. I float between my mother, sister and father and try to bring a voice of reason. As a result, I have, in the past, tended to fill the role of punching bag. Because I am kind, I am seen to be weak. My compassion has been repeatedly mistaken as a shortfall (in fact, my father still tries to get me to "toughen up"). While I choose to look at it from another perspective (that my softness is a positive attribute), I nevertheless am the go-to person when life goes to hell in a hand basket in our family.
As with most things, awareness is important when it comes to the role you play in relationships. This is especially so if the role you play no longer suits you.
Experiences can lead to changes in the way we view ourselves. This inevitably results in a change in the way we relate to other people. The people closest to us are usually the ones to notice the change first. I have had more than my share of life-changing experience. I have reinvented myself many times over. Sometimes the metamorphosis has been a self-protection mechanism. At others, it has been a conscious choice. Each time, a momentous change has occurred in the way I look at myself and, therefore, the way I deal with others. There have been times when the change has been too much for people in my life (my best friend of 22 years ended our friendship when I left my abusive marriage because her belief was that marriage was for life (something I wanted but could not maintain)) while others have embraced the change I made and our relationship has deepened as a result.
The take home message here, for me, is that you have the capacity to choose how you relate with other people. If you are unhappy with how things are, take the (sometimes painful) step to move towards a life that you are happy with. As humans, the fundamental building blocks of our soul come from the relationships we have with people in our life. We are social creatures by nature and it is through our interactions with others that we experience the true richness life has to offer.
To make your relationships not only work but bring you deep satisfaction it is imperative that you assess the role you play. Don't be afraid to rejig them if the relationship is not working for you. I am a firm believer that long term relationships are important. It is deeply satisfying to spend time with people who know you at your core; people you can reminisce with; people who have stood by you when times are tough and celebrated with you when you are on a winning streak. Hold onto those relationships whenever possible but don't let them define the person that you are.
You are the only person who is around you 24/7. Make sure you are happy with the person you spend the most time with - yourself.