Regret

Regret is not a new phenomenon. First described in the fourteenth century, regret is feeling sad, disappointed, repentant or sorry about something. Generally considered a negative emotional response to past acts or behaviours as it is fuelled with embarrassment and shame, regret can influence our future behaviours. Furthermore, regret can linger for a long time.  When it does, it can have an unhealthy effect on wellbeing.

In the end, we only regret the chances we did not take

- Lewis Carroll

When Bronnie Ware first wrote about her experiences as a  palliative carer the five most common regrets of people dying took the world by storm:

1. I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not how others expected me to live
2. I wish I had not worked so hard
3. I wish I had expressed my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with friends
5. I wish I had permitted myself to be happy

It has been a couple of years since I first read these five things. They are so obvious. But it took someone to write them down for others to realise their importance.


It is so easy to get swept up in the day to day activities of life. The immediate demands of feeding ourselves, cleaning up and dragging ourselves to work every day take attention away from our dreams. We are so tired from doing what has to be done that we don't make it a priority to do the things we want to do.


While needs are important, satisfaction comes from feeding our souls. Leaving the dishes in the sink to take a walk in the summer sunshine will not only leave you feeling better but that's where memories are made.


I already have more regrets than one should when they are approaching forty. I tend to stress too much. I lose sleep from not expressing my feelings, following my true self and allowing myself to be happy. Being a people pleaser is self defeating. My actions in the last year have been futile. I am no closer to achieving what I want. If I could articulate myself better, perhaps I would be able to move forward on a number of accounts.


For me, it is now time to act. I do not want to acquire any new regrets.