1000 Steps

This morning I did the Kokoda memorial trail walk in the Dandenongs.  It was still, cool and damp and I managed to complete the 1.8km circuit just before it started to rain (which is a good thing as I run cold).

The walk has been on my bucket list for months. And as I have declared 2013 is the year for growth I could not lie in bed any longer.

There were plenty of other people there but I was surprised at how quiet it was.  The track is quite steep, however, so it did not take long for me to realise the silence was, in part, a result of the fact that no one walking up the hill has breath left over for talking.

Despite having studied Forestry and working in Fire Management for many years, I don't actually get a great deal of joy from being in nature at the moment.  I used to be able to find solace in nature.  However, all I kept thinking as I huffed and puffed up the hill was "I hate trees, they are so tall and arrogant".  I find that I am no longer able at peace when in a natural environment.

For me, it churns up too many emotions.  Sadness at being alone; grief for dreams lost.  I will, on occasion, force myself into these situations as a way of working through things.

At the end of my walk, I came around to the same place I always visit in my head.  The realisation that I could not have continued the way things were.  That I did all that I could and only when I had no other option did I leave.

The quote I need to live by today is
"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on" Eckhart Tolle.