Re-learning

For the first 16 years of my life I was single. Then I met someone that changed me forever. I fell madly in love. I held strong to my beliefs and morals. I was truly happy. I danced, sang and laughed. We were together for about a year and a half. However, because I wouldn't have sex with him, he broke it off. I was heartbroken.

It was a year before I fell in love again. When I fall in love I fall hard. I have high standards so when someone breaks through they are pretty special. Three years later that relationship ended. It was very messy. He had been cheating on me and my best friend caught him out. Turns out he didn't want to marry having slept with only one woman. I have always been very firm on the fact that I do not share. Hell, I am a jealous bitch at the best of times!

Time passed and I fell in love again. A smart and funny man swept me off my feet. We married and had two adorable children together. Sadly, despite all my efforts and desire to make it work, it didn't. My heart was shattered. Irreparable. Forever damaged.

I gave a lot of myself to my marriage. I let go of many of the things that made me who I was. I relinquished myself. I was so focused on making my family happy that I ended up miserable.

Now I find myself re-learning. Seeking the things that make me happy. Discovering what I like and what I don't like. Working on my weaknesses and desperately trying to uncovering any strength that may be hiding within. It is a slow and painful process but one I hope will be worthwhile. This road is unchartered and I head out on it alone. I am scared, I am scarred but I am determined.