I don't want to be woe is me but tonight I am. The rain is pouring and the air is cool, it's late, I've had a big day and I had to end a possum's life on my way home. I hate having to kill anything. Hell, I feel guilty if I stand on an ant in summer and kill it. A moderately sized ringtail possum is just a bit too much. It had been hit by a car and has sustained major trauma. It was in a bad way. Even if I were the most talented of veterinary surgeons, I would not have been able to save it. Admittedly it was probably only minutes (if that) from death but,as Einstein would say, it's relative. A minute goes by in a flash when you're looking into the steel grey eyes of a man. But a minute of writhing in agony would feel like eternity.
Anyway, that small act was significant enough to tip me over the edge today. I just want the warm body of the man I love snuggled into my naked body. I want to be held. I want to be wanted. I want to mean something to someone. I want to make that someone smile every time he gets a text, just because it is from me and I want it now. I don't want it in four years time or a decade from now. I don't want to be the lone lonely loner anymore. I want to be someone's first choice not a time-filler or bit of stuff.
Everyone says it will all come to me in good time. Well, time needs to organise her shit. Time is now bitch
No comments:
Post a Comment