A clusterfuck of words

My mind runs around like it is batshit crazy. Sometimes it's faster than superluminosity. It can run around in circles for hours, weeks, months even. Eventually something spits out the end. Or not, and the circles start again.

When I try to explain what it is like to be like me I produce a clusterfuck of words (usually that's because if

you could take a picture of what it is like inside my head it would be like the schematic for a tag cloud - random words and phrases scattered all over the place). I cannot get it to make sense. Not even to me. It is only when I talk to someone else who works like me that I am relieved for I know I am not alone. For me, though, this is normal. This is how I have always been. I would like to stop living in my head but I don't know how to. Furthermore, I don't understand how others are NOT in the same space. No wonder they have space in their brain to recall actors names and the roles they played, movie titles, TV series and story lines from books!  I seem to have space enough to mostly remember to buy milk on the way home (but only because I have put a reminder in my calendar and timed it to go off as I am walking from my desk to my car. And again when I am likely to be at the intersection where I turn right to go home and left to go to the shops).

I used to be so ashamed of the way I am. However, I have spent a long time trying to learn to accept it for what it is and develop some skills for turning it off; even for short periods of time.