Loss

If you want to know who your true friends are, fuck up and see who's still there. I have been astounded at the losses I have incurred since deciding to leave married life behind. I have lost friends and in-laws. I have lost myself and my sense of identity that was tied in part to those people.

There are so many people that I no longer have contact with, not least my nieces and nephews on my ex's side who I adore, that make the breakdown of a marriage all the more difficult. Having children myself means that I am both blessed and cursed with stories of them. I love hearing about their cousins but my heart breaks knowing that I will not be a part of their lives, especially considering I invested so heavily in terms of time and love.

With every loss there is a grieving process and I am not yet at the end of that. I know that there will be further losses as time goes on but I don't think that you can ever be fully prepared for it.

I have been blessed to form new relationships with some truly wonderful people as a result of my situation. I have also been lucky that some old friends have embraced me into their lives again. For that I am very thankful. Not only is it a delight to rekindle friendships from decades ago, it is reassuring to make new friendships. I find that any new relationship is an opportunity to learn more about myself. As with new experiences, new relationships provide a window into a part of me that I had not looked at previously. I love that I am meeting people with different interests and perspectives