Tired

I am tired. So, so very tired. I have not slept well for years. I lie in bed for hours but am down to about forty minutes of actual sleep a day. It makes me cranky. It makes me emotional. It makes me fragile and irrational. It makes me fearful.

I have been fighting for so long. For the love of my husband; for my career; for my safety; for greater custody of my children; for my friends; for myself. I am tired. I am just so tired. I want to crawl into a hole and sleep a dreamless sleep. For at least a week.

My body aches with pain. My heart feels like it is stuck in a bench vice. It is hard to breathe. My chest is heavy. My eyes burn.

I am just so, so tired.