Today I changed my profile picture on an internal application at work. Previously it was a photo of me taken from outside working at cleaning second-hand windows that had been left out in the weather for way too long. Though I am smiling my eyes are dead. I have instead replaced it with a photo of me smiling wholeheartedly. I am not hiding behind a veil of glass. I am raw and exposed. And my smile comes from my eyes not just my mouth.
I find it telling. I am alone, without my children that I absolutely adore but I am shining from within. I am still fighting the demons in my head and the monsters within but I am free of daily negativity and soul destruction. Baby steps but that mountain is getting closer and one day I will be on the other side of it.
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