I sit between two guys at work. All day long they're texting; smiling when their phone vibrates, thrilled that their woman has sent them a message. The chicks say "jump" and I can hear their subconscious response ("how high?"). While it's cute it's also an infuriating reminder that I'm alone and unloved. They're going home to adoration, affection and company and I have nothing.
I crank up my tunes and submerse myself in my work; try not to let it get to me. But it does. It really and truly does. I find myself thinking 'what's wrong with me?'. I am kind and generous, thoughtful and fun. Why is no one interested in me? Is my ex right? Am I fundamentally flawed and unloveable?
No one said life was easy but this is completely fucked up.
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