Sexiness

I love men. I love their energy. I love the way they behave. I love their arms (especially if they have the bicep bulge when their arms are relaxed - grrrr). I love their cute arses. I love the way they walk and how they stand. However, I find very few men sexy. I can appreciate fine form (I am thinking Ryan Gosling, Robert Downey Jr or Bradley Cooper but I don't find these men sexy). For me sexiness is more than classical good looks. For example, I find Eminem sexy but he really shouldn't be, if you know what I mean. He always looks under the influence of illicit substances and makes bad hair choices but he turns me on. So. Fricken. Much.

There is even a man that oozes sex appeal despite being classically unattractive.

Like I said, there is a distinct shortage of sexy men. Come on Melbourne - crank it up. Put in a bit of effort! Australian men, I have decided, think too highly of themselves and, as a woman, I am partly to blame. While I honestly don't care what men wear and think a guy in jeans and a tshirt can be quite sexy there is a time and a place to put in a bit of effort.

I am raising the call - men of Melbourne you need to step up. Put in some effort. Grab a shirt (that fits - nothing is less attractive than bulging buttons) and pull out the iron. Ditch the arsehole act and show some respect. Grab your lady by the hand and dance with her. Look her in the eye. Smile. Pay attention to her. Stop looking for the next upgrade when you are out with a woman - it is poor form. If you must travel that path, stick with going out with the guys.

I've spent countless hours people watching. I know all the tricks - "the line at the bar was terrible", "I was in the loo", "I was chatting to someone while I had a smoke". If you are out with a girl, be present. Treat her like she deserves. She's not just a vagina.

And women - don't tolerate the bullshit. Call him on it. There's no need to turn into bitch features or ruin the night with outrageous demands but do set some (reasonable) boundaries and stick to them. Most of all, though, have fun. Wear comfortable shoes so you don't end up spending half the night complaining. Smile. Make an effort -  line up at the bar occasionally so your man can enjoy his night too. Pay for at least one round if that's the kind of night you are having. The road travels both ways so show your man some respect. Don't dance sluttily in an attempt to make him jealous, you are likely to either enrage him or turn him off. Either way, you lose. If he's not a dancer suck it up and spend time with him (though if he dismisses you and sends you on your way so he can talk to his pals and flirt with other women run. Run away and don't go back. He doesn't deserve you).