Men

By my reckoning, there are essentially six types of men
- the alpha male - the manly, self-satisfied and driven leader
- the jock - the testosterone-charged sportsman with brains in his biceps
- the geek - the quiet intellectual
- the hipster - the overeducated thrift shopper
- the player - the charming, confident and arrogant dick
- the douchebag slimeball - 'nuf said

Like most women, I have a deep attraction to the alpha male. I like manly men with biceps that'll hug me tight. I like men that keep their pants on when in public (the bog-catcher look does nothing for me). Eyes and lips are important - I like eye contact and kisses are exceptionally underrated. There is no such thing as too many kisses.

However, the alpha male can easily slip into a player. Women love him so he'll take what he can get and that usually means vying for the affection of more than one women. The player is a skilled liar; a smooth talker who balances sporadic compliments with frequent insults.